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I found this in some old writing and thought it was somewhat appropriate to my status as the only member of Team 1 and the only student in LRNT690 – cohort ’07. I shall now think of LRNT690 as my ‘lonely guys apartment’.

For humour’s sake.

Bruce Jay Friedman

The Lonely Guy’s Apartment

At college, he was quite shy with women. His approach was to say ‘Hi there,’ tell the woman his name and then say: ‘Some day I would like to have an apartment overlooking New York City’s East River.’ He could not recall one instance in which a woman responded to this technique.

A Lonely Guy’s best friend is his apartment. Granted, there is no way for him to put his arms aound it, chuck it under the chin and take it to a Met’s game. But it is very often all he has to come home to. Under no circumstances should he have an apartment that he feels is out to get him. One that’s a little superior. An Oscar Wilde of an apartment. No Junior Studio will ever throw its arms around the Lonely Guy and say: ‘It’s gonna be all right, babe.’ But it should at least be on his team. Perhaps not a partner on life’s highway, but somewhere in his corner. (Richler, 1989, p. 428)

Richler, M. (ed.)(1989) The Best of Modern Humour. Toronto: McClelland & Stewart

One Comment
  1. Cindy permalink

    Fantastic Ken…how profound! Since we’re sharing humour stories, here is my version of sibling rivalry that occurred in 1977 with my sisters; one who is one year younger, and another who is eight years younger. As word would have it, at times we fought (who me???). Anyway, whenever we fought, mom (bless her heart) gave each of us a pen and paper and told us to write out our side of the story and she and dad would consider it. I would have been about 15 or 16 at the time this was written and mom recently gave each of us a copy for our memories. Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

    Here goes…

    “Last night…”

    First, SUPPER TIME:

    Amy [a year younger] made cresent rolls for supper & even though Anna[eight years younger] & I were hungry & had not eaten, she continued to insist that it was for her & Sheila [her friend] – ALONE., She did, however say that I could have 2, and Allison could also have 2, – out of 18. So, I said the heck with it & had 3. She blew up, got up from the couch & let out a good wack on my head, & stalked out of the room. I caught up with her, & gave her 1 good swift kick. She got “upset” said “You’re going to get it when mom gets home” in a saucy tone.

    Next, AFTER “Supper”:

    I was trying very hard to watch Emergency on T.V. but I couldn’t because of hers truly (Amy) & Sheila. They were fighting & yelling over a pillow. I asked nicely 3 times for them to stop, hen yelled 2wice, & then got out the Glory 2 rug cleaner & go them both in the back of the pants. Amy ran outside, & I closed the back door, & leaned against it & Sheila locked the front door. Finally Sheila opened it & everyone was laughing. A little later on, I was cleaning the rug & asked Sheila to hold on to the Glory 2. She sprayed me back. O.K. That was fine. Later on Pat [my boyfriend at the time] was outside. I went out to talk to him. They spied, but I disreguarded their “childish” attitude. But then, Pat had to go, so I went to the door, only to find that I was locked out. I took the key (which Amy had no brains to think of using earlier) and went to the front door. They were all blocking it, but even so, I was able to get in. (When I locked her out, I only locked the door & didn’t not “throw” myself up against the door). The end. Signed….CJH.

    PS, I can understand why you might be upset over the Glory 2 that I used on Amy and Sheila (even though they deserved it & there was no malice meant) but I don’t see what the big deal is about my locking her out. Even a half wit would have been able to figure out, that when there is no force used on a locked door, a key is sufficient to open it. And, I’ll point out, she was laughing until she thought that there was something MORE to add to her list of complaints to get you to believe her instead of me!

    Post-script…written as is, incorrect grammar and all. Maybe another day I will add my sister’s response 🙂


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